I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
