On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
