You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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