I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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