look no pants
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
