So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
