drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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