just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize