Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
