so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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