You really coming over, don't trick.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
