Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
