I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
