Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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