So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
