I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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