Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
