a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize