Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
