I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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