I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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