Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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