or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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