I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
