the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize