it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I would ride that face into the sunset
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
