I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
