Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
