You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
