I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
