What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
