I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
