i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
