Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize