Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize