break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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