I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
