i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
