dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
