there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
should my penis look like a turkey
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
