Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
