How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
