Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
