I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i need some magic done to my vagina
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
