Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
