quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
