Screwed.edu
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if only i could text you this smell
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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