i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
