At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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