I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
