Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
