We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Buhtt sex?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
