Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
