I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
