and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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