Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
