Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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