It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
