i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
