Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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