but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Randomize
