oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
